Category Archives: Social Skills

Networking How to Work a Room in 10 Steps

Q: Where do you find individuals to model?

A: Working the room at networking and/or social events; and so should you.

Networking How to Work a Room in 10 Steps

Successfully working a room is a complex method that either comes naturally to you, or will take a lot of concentration and work to develop the skills necessary.

Your assignment (should you choose to accept it) is to go forth, find a venue and work the room yourself. If it’s outside of your comfort zone, then you are a true hero; not just the hero in your own story but a beacon of hope for others – who, like you – are struggling taking this critical step, too.

If you know people in this venue, do not hang out with them. Make it a priority to meet people that you don’t know, ask them who you should introduce yourself to and set your feet in motion. Consider sitting next to someone you don’t know.

Here are 10 things to help you prepare for the next phase in your journey as you develop your networking skills.

If you can, meet with the most high-ranking person that you already know at the event (a special guest, event promoter, or other friend) visit with them briefly and ask them who you should talk to next (who could most benefit from your service or help promote your service).

How to Work a Room in 10 Steps
1. Introduce yourself
2. 30 second elevator speech
3. Ask about them
4. Listen
5. Care
6. Can they help you?
7. Can you help him/her?
8. Exchange cards
9. Invite them to call you
10. Next

Avoid the person who appears to be purposely avoiding interaction with others. But acknowledge them with a friendly nod as you work the room, letting them gain their own courage (if that is what they lack) from witnessing yours.

How to Work a Room 10 Steps Introduce 30 second ask listen care help exchange invite nextIf you must proceed blindly simply walk up to someone who possesses a commanding presence and isn’t actively engaged in a conversation. Feel confident enough to break character for a moment and honestly say, “I expected to see someone I knew, here, but to tell you the truth, I don’t see anyone in this room that I know. What’s your name?”

Once they’ve recognized your plight, he or she will likely be enthusiastic about introducing you to some other folks in the room to help you get started. If not, try the same approach with another person who appears to be a confident extrovert. Really, all you have to do to get the ball rolling is to

1 Introduce Yourself

Be polite, friendly, smile and say, “Hi, my name is _________ … and you are?” It really is that easy.

They may or may not ask about you, nonetheless, early on, comment on the event, their appearance, then:

2 Give your 30 second elevator speech

You have rehearsed this and can recite your 30 seconds worth without it sounding as if it was simply recited or memorized.

Never be shy discussing your business with anyone. They may not need your services, but may someone who does.

3 Ask about them

After you’ve established who you are and what you do, begin learning about the person you’re meeting. Ask exploratory questions. You’ve indulged yourself, now it is time to connect and discover more.

Have they travelled or done this before? Ask them why they are here.

Don’t ask questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. Invite them to expound by asking who, what, when, where and how questions. When they’re answering questions, they’re doing the heavy lifting.

4 Listen

Yes, your intention is to promote yourself but you do so by listening to the person you are meeting.

Listen for clues for ways you can help them on their journey or can help you on yours.

Practice active listening. Look them in the eye (this may be uncomfortable for some, at first but it is an important component of effective communication). Make the effort to paraphrase and repeat portions of what is being expressed by the person you are meeting.

5 Care

Don’t just acknowledge the other person, but show them that you care. You can express caring about a stranger in a brief conversation by nodding or making appropriate facial expressions to mirror the emotions that they might be feeling at a deeper level as they speak.

6 Can they help?

As they are expressing themselves, be listening for ways they might be able to further your purpose.

7 Can you help?

Suggest a way that you might be able to help them, if appropriate, based on this brief exchange.

Emphasize how you can help them rather than how intellectual you are. People are interested in what you can do to help them.

People appreciate generosity and authentic offers of assistance and your help may simply take on the form of an empathetic ear and compassionate understanding of their plight.

8 Exchange cards

Do not force a card on everyone that you speak to. Offer your card only if it would be beneficial for this person to contact you later.

Remember, this is not a sales call, but if this person might see a need for your service, product or skill(s) – or if they have asked for your card – then absolutely you should give them one.

Likewise, if they have skills that you might need, either now or in the future, you should request their card.

If you get someone else’s card, write notes on it, so that you can remember who they were. Getting other people’s cards is actually more important than giving out yours… and this only works if you follow-up and invite them to participate with you.

9 Invite them to call you.

If you’ve given them a card and there is potential that you may be able to serve them in some way, make sure to invite them to call you so that you can discuss more details of the possibilities that may be uncovered in this brief interaction. Remember, this is not a sales call, nor is it a time to close. Keep it brief, because you must move on…

10 Next

Move on to the next person. If you don’t know who you should speak to next, ask the person you are wrapping up with. In most cases, you will find them eager to suggest someone that you should talk to and may even escort you to the person and introduce you.

Exiting the event

Don’t just leave. Thank the presenter, guests; re-connect with the people you’ve connected with before you make your exit.

Following the event

Follow-up. If you do not contact them again, then there will likely not be potential gain. Give them the opportunity to move through your social circles.

It’s all about building lifelong clients and friends via relationship.

Excerpt from Success Attributes © 2008 David M Masters used by permission.

Top 5 Social Skills for Success

There is no doubt that in business, or nearly any area(s) of life, those who wield the best interactive social skills have a huge advantage over those less adept at social interaction.

Some people are born with it; others make the effort to develop these social skills to increase their advantage in the world as we know it. It really all comes down to economy of effort, meaning that the most successful people are able to accomplish so much more in much less time.

Top 5 Social Skills for Success opportunity assessment brand integrity persuasion blend in emotional connectionThe best equipment you could have at your disposal would include these top five specialized social skills tucked away in your tool belt:

  1. Opportunity Assessment
  2. Brand Integrity
  3. Be Persuasive
  4. Blend In
  5. Emotional Communication

Opportunity Assessment

This ability would be considered self-serving by most of the general populace, but being able to quickly identify people to interact with that can best benefit you is a key skill that should be mastered by the successful businessperson or entrepreneur.

Think of it as having two minutes to make the determination whether the individual will be beneficial to you, your professional concerns, or may have skills that will help you to further your purpose.

You must always be polite, never rude, as you quickly express your purpose and try to learn as much as you can about the other person, limiting yourself to your 30 second elevator speech, then ask questions to determine whether there exists a potential opportunity.

Brand Integrity

Take care when interacting with others in the boardroom, in public, from the stage, during interview and face-to-face to stay congruent to, promote and protect your brand. Be cautious.

For some people, it is the person that is their brand; their name, their appearance, their convictions and public persona. Whenever possible in all the things you say and do, be consistent to the image that you want to be remembered as.

For others their brand may be a product or service. Do not expose behind-the-scenes information or data that might reflect poorly on your brand. This means that some topics may need to be avoided in order to protect your brand.

Be Persuasive

One of my mentors insisted that, “salesmanship,” and/or persuasion was the single most important skill to possess if you intend to enjoy any level of intentional success.

Obviously, having the ability to promote and sell your perspective, product or service on-demand can have huge impact on your overall success.

If you’re not born with a persuasive personality, this could be (and often is) the most challenging skill to adequately wield, as it can be the double-edged sword that improperly used could actually backfire and cost you a sale, potential client or cause people to question your motivation. This is a delicate balance that takes both balance and practice. You don’t want someone to remember you as the pushy salesperson or jerk.

Nevertheless, you must be able to encourage others to see from your perspective, whether they are friends, potential fans (who will promote you and/or what you do), customers or clients.

Blend In

This is the ability to relate to anyone on their terms. That means, regardless of whether you are speaking to a group of people or in a one-on-one conversation, you have the ability to see from their perspective, being thoughtful enough to use a similar style of speech (as long as it does not interfere with your brand).

Not just for those with political aspirations, being able to blend in is skill of adapting to any unique social setting and maximizing one’s exposure without standing out too much and being mindful of brand protection.

Emotional Communication

Interact with people in such a way that demonstrates that you are compassionate and passionate with a full array of emotions, communicating with feeling. When active in communication use voice inflection that enables your audience to perceive that you are enthusiastic, confident and competent.

People love emotions and they listen for your emotion in your vocal interactions with them. Speak from your heart to theirs, making an intimate connection.

If you feel as though you do not possess this skill, you can practice, practice, practice with a simple audio recorder. Practice reading and talking using a variety of vocal styles. If you have young children, reading children’s books and stories and vocally representing the voice of different characters is perfect practice (plus your kids will never forget your story-telling abilities).

How to Build Your Social Skills for Success

The best way to start building these skills is to start hanging out with other folks who already possess the skills you desire. Keenly observe them and model their behavior. Go to seminars, events and watch videos of live presentations. Study how others perform their social magic, take notes and practice doing what they do.

Excerpt from Success Attributes © 2008 David M Masters used by permission.